In Spanish there is a Tango called “Volver”
that translated means: “Coming Back”
and it says something like:
"Feeling that life is a breath
That 20 years is nothing
that the feverish look
wandering in the shadows
is looking and calling you yet "
On June 23 my husband and I celebrated 20 years of being sworn in before an altar to be together through thick and thin, for richer, for poorer, in health and disease.
It has been 20 years of endless changes, unpredictable things, anguish, of silence, remorse, mistakes and successes, but also has been perseverance, tolerance, happy moments, hope and encouragement.
My husband is Portuguese and I Colombian, two cultures, two freedoms, which agreed to live under one roof and walk together to the last goodbye.
Despite the enthusiasm with which we began, it was difficult at first, if you were sitting in front of me, I would say "the first 19 years" as a joke and we'd be laughing.
Assuming, misunderstandings, the dashed hopes, the disappointments, the lack of dialogue, almost led this couple to fret. At one point there ware talks of divorce, but good will, perseverance, patience and prayer, took us back down the path that one day our dreams, and love made us to be willing to walk.
Today I look back and wonder: where 20 years had gone?
When we look into the future, 20 years seems a long time, but looking back they are elusive; It is not the amount of time that counts, but those valuable lessons were learned along the way, the quality time that is now shared?
A married life looks like to me those sea stones that leads to the beach, all are smooth, but were not always so. It is the coming and going and staying together what has been filing the rough edges, as the sea stones, the sea of life, over time will filing our edges so that we fit with each other and stay together.
If we take time to grow together, eventually we will get truly love each other, to understand each other, even to guess each other; since the illusion of engagement soon succumbs to the routine and to the stinky and unromantic reality of dirty laundry, we need to give us the opportunity to wait with hope; if we do our part and strive to see the effort that the other is doing, if we look at the true value and weight of a grain of sand that our partner is providing; if instead of criticizing we offer support, tolerance, solutions and a helping hand; if instead of seeking control, we walked next to each other as complement and supplement, love and understanding will join our company.
And then… there will be heat in the embrace
Febrile still the eyes are looking,
and It will be the same passion, but different,
like water while maintaining the momentum of rapid,
calm and unhurried slips into the backwater of the River.
There will be then peace surroundings you.
Is stable and strong the bond that has been built.
You will have the freedom to take care of your things,
and share them without fear, with the one, whom one day,
long time ago, you chose to walk the path.